Friday, August 31, 2012

Randomss Reality

When the possession of spirit, the soul, the life giver is complete, I tend to focus on other third worldly aspects of my existence. The sorrows, the joys, the pains, the happinesses, the triumphs, the defeats,..all make up a mind of their own whilst making thy think of inconceivable unimportant deeds, which you would otherwise ignore. Life gives you unfathomable powers; the liberty to become everything and anything you can conceive of in your brain. But what we rather chose to be, one eyed monsters with a single deleterious approach to make the tumor even worse than it already is. Acting like sanctified jesuses, we are at the pinnacles of our moronic capabilities. Its not so much as moving unguided but the very paths that we have chosen with our human egotism which will eventually lead to our catastrophic end on this very land which we call our own. Petrifying, as it may seem but is only carrying as much truth as the air which we breathe ,albeit involuntarily. We are the men of doomsday, the judgement day if you may call, and the heart wrenching realities of the bleeding hearts and the starving sunken stomachs, we sit for our turn is still some time away and the impending tragic justice or punishment. Indeed.there is paucity everywhere and the vision blurs to levels where no eyeglasses could help, and the question you now ask yourself is , how could you have not seen it coming as it was always there, right under your eyes, everywhere around you, making you feel how you had Blurred your vision a long back. But now there is no turning back, you're stuck , you try to escape but can't, killing your own self is not a solution too. As you consider more of this unspeakable malaise, the grip of this force becomes stronger than ever.
-Sunny Gusain

Friday, August 10, 2012

Rest in peace

Either kill me or allow me to survive
For I cannot live like a hollow soul
With memories turned into nightmares
And myself turned into a burning log
How long can I stop myself from flooding from this grief
For I have truly loved and lost in a matter of weeks
Hollow sympathies from you I don't want
For this pain is only and only mine
Nights are sleepless, days are tormenting
But still the blame is on me
For I failed miserably......
Think of your angel as a demon now
And just pray for him "To rest in peace"

-Sunny Gusain

Damn me

If only I knew how the logics of "Maturity" worked, I would have never fallen in love with nothing but The True Love in my hands. For I would have known the twings and pangs of this "Shiny" world, and thus avoided being butchered every second of my existence. I am hurt beyond corrections, and cannot help but think how miserable I have become. Damn me, how can I possibly want to marry a princess sans a big house and an expensive car. Damn me for believing that the power of love could bring in riches. Damn me for even thinking of us as we. Damn me for being so optimistic and impractical. Damn me for the paucity of opulence. Damn me for being an inconsolable soul. Damn me for still.......... surviving.

-Sunny Gusain

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

But why but why but why

Whose clutches are these, 
Which so strongly hold me, 
How can I liberate myself, 
When liberation itself is confinement, 
How can I fight and win, 
When loss is a synonym of winning, 
When why is the question, 
With 'but why' as its only answer, 
When you know the reason and the reasoning 
With defeat and defeat as your only reading 
Why can't I be put to sleep with a mother's care, 
But will sleep be able to bear this unbearable ache, 
When the words of love spoken cease to matter 
And the only real word left to care is despair, 
When the only prayer to God is the prayer of death 
With only a hope of Him acceding to your demands 
But why but why but why and that's how I go off to sleep 
But why but why but why but why.........

-Sunny Gusain

Again and again......Love Kaput

The haunting is back, the mind is so full of this excruciating pain and suffering. I ask myself, why do I suffer, am I a sinner? What have I done to deserve this scar on my heart and mind? I am full of remorse, and this morbid fear of a vacancy in my soul. I look out for the unknown, losing myself completely with no dreams to live for. Why do I end up alone while I only spread joy and love. Why love has become a morbid word when the world only needs this for resurrection. The validity of love is under question and I ask myself, Is it existent or just a manifestation of human preference. Oral promises are not valid, does that mean we should keep legal promises in love. How do I see when my eyes have been taken out? Why cannot my heart accept what my mind so articulately explains and justifies? Why is it so difficult to comprehend it? Why can't I explain to myself that love as such is not enough and that riches are critical to everything? Why do people carry around two faces, one of love and the other of betrayal? I promise myself never to fall in love again. Heart rending, and calamitous it has been for me whenever I have so generously bestowed my love and care with so much honesty and dedication.

-Sunny Gusain